Roller Coaster

Every day, I think about posting, but my thoughts are so scrambled that I can't organize them into coherence. Conversely, I've been trying to not think so hard about things and just enjoy the ride. As a result, my brain is an endless cycle of white space followed by an attempt to burst out of my skull, over and over again.

Aaaahhhh.....I've tried to write the next paragraph three times. It's all cuckoo's nest and BS.

Blue

I am more aware of my single status than I've ever been before. I'm surrounded by couples and families and it seems that every week, another (younger) cousin is getting married or having a baby, or is at least in a serious relationship headed that direction.

I can justify being single all I want- I can travel, I can do whateverI want without having to answer to anyone, I can go to the bars and make out with anyone I choose and then walk away without looking back. What I love most about being single is the solidarity it gives me with my friends- I am much closer to them when I don't have a guy in my life. However, the bitter truth may very well be that there is something fundamentally un-marriable about me, some major flaw that is invisible and absolute at the same time.

For the first time in my life, I'm seeing a guy who has a kid- something I would have previously avoided at any cost- and it has turned my life upside down. Watching him with his kid is almost torture, as it evokes a fierce battle inside me. All the benefits of being single are paltry compared to being a part of a family unit- waking up every morning next to the one you love, eating breakfast with your kids, watching them experience new things for the first time..... I see people take that for granted and I just want to shake them and make them understand how lucky they are.

Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted. Paul Pearshall

club bubi bubi

I go dancing here sometimes. I usually get up on a platform and then K-girls push their boyfriends at me to make them dance with me. There is also a whole wall covered with mirrors, and K-girls line up in front of them and stare at themselves while they are dancing.

There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good. Edwin Denby

Idioteque - by the Cock Blockers

This is my favorite band in Korea, and some of my favorite guys. I've spent many a debaucherous night with them.

Danny- the drummer. He's from O'Fallon, MO and is engaged to one of my best K-girlfriends.

Curtis- vocals and jimbae. He's awesome, brought me Peanut Butter Cups the last time he went to America. His girlfriend did a belly dance at their last show. It was hot.

Chicago Dan- guitar. He moved to Busan but comes back for reunion shows. I miss him.

Paul- Bass. Nuff Said

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. Berthold Auerbach

My Girls

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. Aristotle

Bow Down

In a hotel in Seoul...






Bow down before the one you serve. You're going to get what you deserve. Trent Reznor

Hannah's Horny Skin

My favorite Korean beauty product is Skin Food. They sell skin care and cosmetics made from the extracts of natural foods. Some of my favorites are the Lime Body Exfoliant, the Black Sugar Facial Scrub, Beer Shampoo, and Milk Hand Cream.

Hannah purchased some Grape Seed Oil Body Wash. The label says:

Body shower gel that contains jojoba (??) beans to control rough horny substances and nutrient rich grape seed oil to improve the smoothness of the skin.

Apparently in Korea, skin is considered a horny substance. Ha!!!!!

The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases, one of its diseases is called man. Friedrich Nietzche