Korea Laughs

Just Kidding!

2009-04-03T18:54:00.001-07:00

This is how I feel when I try to write a blog entry.

http://www.joblo.com/video/player.php?video=wiigjustkidding

"Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty."

2009-03-09T14:01:00.000-07:00

My heart breaks for those who are desperately struggling in this economic turmoil. As we all have, I've watched people I love lose their job or take cuts, and I fear what is happening around me. I don't really want to return to Korea, but there are numerous reasons to do so. First and most obviously, I can get a job there. In addition, if I did get a job in Canada or the US, I'd feel guilty about taking a job from someone who has a house and kids and doesn't have the option to leave like I do.

I digress.

First, I have a question. What are those of us who are already living practically supposed to do with the advice the 'experts' are dishing out now? We don't eat out very often. We have the cheapest cable plan available- and we didn't even want that, but it was a package deal with the internet. I don't have a cell phone or a car. I haven't had a hair cut in months and the last item of clothing I purchased was a jacket at a thrift store three months ago. Oh, and boots. I bought boots. It's Canada, for Gosh Sakes.

But this lifestyle is not a result of the current economy. I just live like this and mostly always have. So I ask the 'experts' - what do WE do? What's your advice for those of us who already live within our means?

Which leads me to my next thought- what the hell are people doing with their money? I don't understand a family of four that can't live on $60,000 a year! I realize I'm slightly speaking out of my ass here- I don't have a house or kids to pay for. I know that's expensive. My issue is that we've become used to living a certain type of lifestyle and for some people, buying $20 sneakers instead of $200 sneakers is just not an option- and I can't grasp that thinking. We don't NEED all the things we have. But then I realize if we don't buy these things, business fail, and people lose jobs. So there's no easy solution- DUH.

I'm not making my point well.

The point is, some of us think we're struggling even when we have everything we need. We don't need the giant house and $30.00 pizza deliveries. I get irked when I see someone on TV whining about their economic situation when there are other people who would give their right arm for any income they can get.

Again, I'm not saying that some people are not in serious trouble. But some of us are complaining when we should be grateful that are basic needs are met. Not being able to afford a Gucci purse is NOT a freaking crisis.

The Blog Lives! (kind of)

2009-03-02T11:54:00.000-08:00

One of the reasons I stopped updating this blog (besides the lack of loyal readers, haha) is because in Korea, the Blogger website is in Korean and it's quite a challenge to navigate. However, I finally realized that my blogging-vacation has been too long. So I logged into Blogger- and it's STILL in Korean!

Please note that I'm in Canada.

I'll be back. Sit tight.

Rant- Life at a Hagwon

2008-09-07T22:56:00.000-07:00

I have a student who talks in class all the time. Not only does she talk, she hardly ever does her homework, she is late every day (and starts talking as soon as she enters the class, completely destroying the flow of whatever we're doing), she doesn't put forth any effort, and often, when she raises her hand, instead of answering a question, she starts talking about Korean boy bands. She's about 12.

Natalie, her sister, is 8. She has completed her homework twice in the year that I've taught her, and brought her book to class as many times. I don't think she owns a pencil.

They are both good kids, but undesirable students and to be honest, most days, I don't enjoy having them in my classroom.

I spend a good percentage of every class telling Sarah to be quiet. One day, she cheated on her spelling test. I tore up her paper. It's not the first time I did this and it won't the last. My kids know how I work, and most of them know where to draw the line. Sarah was also talking to Soi so I was telling her time and time again to be quiet, and I probably ended up moving her seat.

Not long after that, I spoke to my boss- again- about the problems with these girls. She explained to me that their parents work and her mother has no time to help with English and could I please be a little accomodating. I said sure, no problem. That was the end of it for me- so I thought.

Last week, Sarah was crying at school. I'm unsure about what exactly happened, but I guess she got in trouble (with the secretary, maybe?) for this incident from months ago. I was surprised that it came up again but nobody came to me about it so I let it slip out of my mind.

Today, my boss sat me down and essentially gave me an earful about how Sarah thinks I hate her and she and her sister wanted to quit our school but Iris (my boss) convinced their mother to keep them here and I should be very appreciative of Iris and their mother for not pulling them out of our school. I explained to her my point of view, she said that she understood and that she had spoken to the other kids in the class (what??? since when do you need to speak to the kids about a problem I had with one of them? WTF?) and that she knows Sarah talks a lot but I cannot tell her to be quiet anymore and I should thank her for staying. WTF????

So, not only did I get in trouble for telling a kid to be quiet, my boss spoke about that day to the other kids in the class (incidentally, they did all say that Sarah talks too much), she didn't bother to talk to me about this over the past 4 or 5 months, and now I have to let Sarah talk as much as she wants AND I have to tell her "Thank you for staying."

I don't think so.

I might be coming home sooner than I thought.

(And this is just ONE example of life at a hagwon.)

Troy is slender but Jenny is fat.

2008-09-05T22:12:00.000-07:00

Comparison paragraphs about myself and my co-teacher from two of my 12 year olds:

Jenny and Troy have similar and different. Jenny is foreigner; likewise, Troy also foreigner. They are friends. Also, they are teachers. but Troy is slender but Jenny is fat. Also. Troy is tall but Jenny is short And Troy is handsome but Jenny is pretty, although, she is fat, but she has a diet. Instead, Troy is very tall. So, I scared him. Jenny and Troy are good friends.

Troy and Jenny is same but different. Same thing is they have big eyes. they are friends. They are foreigners. they use English, and also they work in the same place. And different things is Troy is man, but Jenny is woman. Troy had glasses but Jenny had no glasses. On one hand, Troy is thin. on the other hand, Jenny is fat. Troy is tall, but Jenny is smallar than Troy. Troy had a girlfriend, but Jenny had no boyfriend. I want Troy and Jenny are always good friends.

Random pics.

I have magic powers!

Learning body parts

Hmm...I wonder what kind of restaurant this is?

I love Korean translations!

The End of Summer

2008-09-03T22:53:00.001-07:00

I often think about updating my blog, but recently my mind is flooded with chaos that I can't make sense of. Plus, so many things are important only to me, or are too personal to air to the millions that read my blog, or seem mundane after the fact.

I'm still planning on returning in November. I remain undecided about plans after that. A friend in China has invited me to come teach there, and a boy has invited me to live in Canada with him. (I've always wanted a moose.) I know it's nice to have choices, but the older I get, the more difficult it is to live by the seat of my pants.

I'm tired of Korea. I'm tired of bad administrative decisions. I'm tired of this life- for now. Of course I'll miss my friends and most of my students, but I'm ready for a change.

I don't really have anything else to say. Here's some pics.

Drinking wine (with ice!) and beer, on the boardwalk, out of bags.

Selling dried fish/squid- and heating it up- on the beach. Delicious!

Hungry?

Couple shirts. Gotta love it.

The End of Summer

2008-09-03T22:52:00.001-07:00

Test

Kimchee, Kimchee, It is good for you and me!

2008-05-14T04:48:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjBfy_HVoSM

Well, hello there!

2008-01-04T22:43:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! I miss you all.

Here's some pics. Enjoy!

Happy New Year!!!!

Tour of Daejeon- Part Deux

2007-11-13T03:19:00.000-08:00

Welcome back!

As you can see, I'm in quite a bit of pain from spilling hot tea water all over my arm, so the tour today will be short and sweet.

***The photos today are courtesy of the lovely Laura Parks, the extraordinary Paul Wilson (who hopefully won't be mad that I stole some of his pics), and some other random people who also hopefully won't be mad that I "borrowed" their pics. We're all one big happy family...right? And just so you know, I have seen all of these things for myself, except for the t-shirt.***

We're on our way to visit Lucky Strike for Halloween, but there's plenty to see on the way!

Have you eaten? If not, we can stop in here and you can grab a sandwich.

Perhaps you're in the market for some new undies, YES?
"Didn't you see my panty and brassiere? Well... is that yours? No! How about this one? It's mine!! My underwear! Why don't go to yes? Yes? Yes!! Yes let's go to Yes!!!"

Hey, look!
Check out that guy's shirt! Koreans love putting random words together. I love it too. And of course, no shirt is complete without dancing smurfs.

It's getting darker out now, and as you can see, Korea is second only to Vegas when it comes to neon lights. Here's one of several Sexy Lady Bars.
The papers all over the street are advertisements for bars, clubs, and restaurants.
Establishments hire people to walk around and drop brochures on the ground, and sometimes they even drive around in trucks throwing the shit out the window.

If you aren't having luck at Sexy Lady, go for broke at Ho Bar.
If you're REALLY lucky, you'll find Cute Candice there.

We've finally arrived at our destination, Lucky Strike. Do you see those bills plastered all over the over the walls and ceiling? Think of all the beer they could buy....

Meet my friends Tremendous and Lindsey. What? You want to to take our picture? Well...ok. Lauren, what are you doing? You want me to wear what? Bunny ears? Sigh.....ok. I'm ready for a picture now!

Oh wow. We got here just in time. Here's what you just missed. He takes a glass and stacks it on top of another glass, then stacks another glass and another. He fills up the top glass until it overflows, and then he lights the alcohol on fire. The burning liquid continues to flow down the side of the glasses until it fills the glass on the bottom, which provides ample opportunity for the bartender to light his cigarette off of the fire, and then when the bottom glass is full, he lets the alcohol burn out and hands the delicious nectar to the birthday girl. You might be a bit worried, as of course this is a fire hazard in a crowded bar that only has one exit.
But it's also one of the coolest things I've ever seen, not to mention that the resulting cocktail is tangy and refreshing.

Since we're here, you might as well stick around and have a drink. We'll continue the tour in a few days.
Kambe!!!!!!

Tour of Daejeon- Part One

2007-11-08T18:19:00.000-08:00

If you know me, you know I'm a genius. Even if you don't know me, I'm sure you've figured it out.

That I left my camera in St. Louis proves nothing.

*repeatedly bangs head against wall*

So while I sort out the Great Camera Debacle, here are some photos for you to enjoy, courtesy of the brilliant Laura Parks, who hails from that really big country just north of the United States and has a laugh that you just can't help laughing along with.

We'll begin our tour today with the big picture. The apartments in Korea are ginormous. They had to rebuild quickly after the war, and of course there are a lot of people inhabiting limited space here. Hence the buildings that go on and on and on. And on. And on.

Now we'll move on to everyday sights and sounds. Here we have Downtown Daejeon. It's chock full of restaurants, bars, and all the shopping you could want. Ok, I admit I said that with sarcasm, but in all honesty, it's a fun and active place and I often take the subway there to spend a few hours just walking around.

Here we find some children sitting near the market. Aren't they precious?

And finally, we arrive at a game of jump rope, that universally loved children's past-time. Except...wait.....what? Those aren't children. Those are men! Full grown men!!!!
Oh my. Fascinating. Well, as Laura says, a man isn't a real man until he's jumped rope.

Are you hungry? Perhaps we should stop at a market and pick up a snack. Here, try some dried squid.

Or some dried anchovies.

You seem tired. I think that's enough for today. Thanks for stopping by! Come back around this weekend, there's plenty more to see and do in wonderful Daejeon!

One Month Down...

2007-11-06T05:24:00.000-08:00

Greetings!

The weather has turned cold, which is unfortunate as I will have to start wearing regular shoes to work. I currently wear flip flops as we are not allowed to wear "outside shoes" into school, and it's easiest to flip off the outside flops and slip on the inside flops. You'll be amused to know that as the weather has turned colder, I've taken to wearing socks with my flips, which means that the thong part squishes the socks down between my big and second toes. It's very sexy.

Although it's very quiet and I get stared at a lot due to the lack of foreigners in my immediate area, my dong is starting to grow on me. There's a giant trampoline down the block that it so genius and so wonderful I wonder why it hasn't taken off in the U.S. yet. (I'm sure it has to do with the "inherent danger" of the evil trampoline. Koreans are much less protective of their offspring than we are, and as a result, these kids are tough- much tougher than myself!) 6 trampolines joined together, covered by a giant dome-shaped tarp. It's fantastical. There's also an apartment park down the other block, and a larger neighborhood park about 10 minutes away. The old ladies sit on the sidewalk selling their vegetables, and the mothers haggle with them over bundles of turnips. I've taken to walking around the streets for a short while after work, and I discover something new every time, no matter how many times I've already paced the street.

I've yet to seen blatant proof of this, but I've seen hints of it----- I live on Prositution Row. There's many bars on my street with the windows darkened, and others have booths that are visible through the windows but there are curtains surrounding the booth, which is a sure sign of suspicious activity.

More ludicrous than the fact that my school put me up on this street is the fact that a hagwon is being built here, and it's the first ground level hagwon that I've ever seen.

"Kids, let's talk about jobs. See that lady walking down the street? What is her job?" "Prostitute, teacher!" "Good job, class! Can you spell prositute?" "P-r-o-s-t-i-t-u-t-e." "Very good!!"

I'm finally remembering all the good things- and bad- things about being here. The good things are my kids, and the laughs they give me, and watching them learn. Eating dinner with my friends. Being independent and not having to answer to anyone. The subway. Green tea. Men carrying purses. Going to the market and not having any idea what those crazy vegetables are. Having time to read and watch movies. Kids wearing shirts that say "Eat shit" and "Tell your boobs to stop looking at my face" and being completely clueless about it - one of my favorite kids (she's about 16) wore a shirt today that said *In nature, the little head does all the thinking.* If she only knew!

The bad things are the lack of bookstores with English books. Not being able to communicate when the cashier accuses me of not giving her enough money. Korean men who think I'm a hooker. Being years older than all the girls here, and listening to them moan about how old they are. Listening to girls complain about how fat they are. (Would you complain about your glasses to a blind man? Would you complain to a quadraplegic about sore knees after running a race? Sure, I love my tits and ass, but come on!) TV- they show the same horrible shows and movies over and over and over again. The noise- everyone is loud here. Cars honking 24/7. People yelling in the street at 2 am. Missing my nephews. Missing my friends. Being the only single person in a group of people who have somehow managed to find companionship in this desolate and strange place. Saying goodbye- always saying goodbye.

The worst thing is the loneliness. Even for those lucky enough - or stupid enough- to have found love here, loneliness is a constant. I don't know why. Maybe it's being away from home, or not being able to communicate, or the constant emigration of people, but it's difficult to feel connected here. Sometimes, the loneliness runs so deep that I can hear the pulsing of my heart echo through my body.

The past month has flown by, and I know the rest of the year will too. I try not to think about coming home, but I do. Part of me can't wait to come back- when something makes you happy, it only makes sense that you'd want to be with it all the time (stolen from a movie, I can't remember which one). But part of me loves this freedom and this life and although it's not exactly stable, in a perverse way, it offers me security and protection.

I keep reminding myself that I returned to Korea for very specific reasons. I think as long as I accomplish my goals, I'll be ready to come home.

If not......

I miss you all. I hope that each day is filled with your own personal Snow Cake.

20 Days In

2007-10-23T05:54:00.000-07:00

I've been back a few weeks now, and things are finally starting to fall into place.

My apartment is much nicer than the "accommodations" I was provided with last year. It's still kind of a dump, and the couple that left didn't exactly do a stellar job of cleaning, but I'm just happy to have 3 rooms instead of one. Living in a closet isn't exactly condusive to a positive attitude, you know?

I'm really struggling with the social scene- it's totally different people and a completely different vibe than last year. Keith and I were discussing it the other night- every year, you get a bunch of young punks who think they're the shiznit and strut around like their shit don't stink. By the time they've started to settle down and act human, it's a year later, they're out and are replaced by a pack of thugs exactly like them. Then you have the guys who are 40 and 50, acting like they're 22 and hitting on anything that walks. There's not a lot of happy medium to be found.

I admit that I made my fair share of mistakes last year, but I have made a genuine effort to atone for most of them. Unfortunately, sometimes, like last weekend, it comes back to bite me in the ass.

On the plus side, school is going pretty well. All hagwons are managed with a certain amount of madness and circular logic, not to mention a complete lack of time management and organization. Several things have already changed at my school since I signed my contract, which irritates me but isn't worth getting worked up about. However, my boss told me the other day that she knows I've been working hard and that she appreciates it, and that's something I never heard from my previous institution. Some of the classes are easy almost to the point of boredom, but some of them are actually above my head. I'm having to do a lot of review about past participles and second present possessive or whatever that crap is. Some of my kids are reading condensed versions of Wuthering Heights, Around the World in 80 Days, Lord of the Flies (which I accidentally called Lord of the Rings all through class, my kids think I'm crazy.) I love it, I can't believe I actually spent 30 minutes last week discussing Wuthering Heights with some 12 year old Korean kids! I was pleasantly surprised with their insights about character, plot, motivation...just goes to show that the classics are exactly that for a reason. They speak to everyone on some level. I live for those moments. The only real challenge I'm facing is that the prior teacher didn't exactly make them work- they spent a lot of time playing games and coloring, and were allowed to leave class early. They also received workbook pages for homework, whereas my boss has requested that I make them write short essays. So they resent me for making them do actual work, and they are too young to

If I may toot my own horn for a moment- a relative newbie approached me last weekend and asked for advice about managing his classes. It was our first time meeting but he said that I seemed "very confident" about teaching and he'd been looking for someone to give him "practical" advice. It's rare for someone to see me as a, I don't know, it was just really nice that someone thought I knew what I was talking about. And I do. I'm not the best teacher in the world, I haven't studied for it, but I rarely have a problem with students. Mostly I just love my job and I love my students and that's half the battle right there. I'm still trying to get into my groove in the classroom and get a feel for the students, I'm definitely not at the top of my game right now, but it'll come.

That's just how I roll.

Endings and Beginnings

2007-10-09T23:06:00.000-07:00

As I write this, I am sitting outside 'Angel in-us Coffee' in downtown Daejeon, drinking a 4,000 won cup of green tea. (This is a rare splurge for me.)

On my last day in St. Louis, Erin and her extraordinary daughters picked me up and we met Bret and Aidan at the zoo, followed by birthday ice-cream at Ted Drew's. Afterwards Mindy, Laura and I went to a wine festival at Forest Park, and the night ended with dinner at Chuy's, which is where we met for the first time, 3 months ago. And circles being what they are, we had the same waiter we'd had the first night.

I was reasonably sure that I was leaving the next day, but having never received the requested confirmation from my school, it wasn't until I phoned the airline the next morning to confirm my flight that it started to hit me, and even then a part of me figured that I'd get to the airport only to be told that the flight hadn't been booked.

Bret took Aidan and I to Fitz's, where I ordered a veggie sandwich only to cry all over it. The ride to the airport and saying goodbye were beyond painful- saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult enough without doing it at the most difficult time in their life. Even as I think about it now I get teary eyed. (Of course, I cry at long distance commercials and puppies too, so it's really not that remarkable.)

California was great, I only had one whole day there but it was wonderful to see my cousins and Trish and I had some thought-provoking conversation, I was feeling a lot better about leaving by the time I left for Korea.

Singapore Airlines is phat. The girls are so beautiful, they take my breath away. It was also my first experience with free alcohol on an airplane- after about 6 glasses of wine and a sleeping pill, I finally managed to nod off- for one measly hour. Still, that's more than I normally sleep on a plane.

I cried a lot on the plane, but when we landed in Seoul, I had this strange sensation of "coming home." It caught me off guard, but I believe it's mainly because I was coming to a job and my own apartment, two things that keep you settled and two things I've been without for too many months.

Much to my surprise, I navigated my way through customs and the purchasing of my bus ticket with no problems. While I was waiting for the bus, I spied two cars drive up and park in the bus lane, and one of them had flowers attached to the hood, signifying that they were just married. The door opened and out stepped the bride, wearing white sneakers with red and blue stripes, blue jeans faded on the thighs, and a white t-shirt peeking out from under a maroon and white plaid button down. Following her was her groom- wearing the EXACT SAME THING.
I was laughing my ass off, this is so typical of Korea- I've often seen couples wearing matching shirts or hats, and lingerie stores sell matching underwear and pajamas, but this is the first time I've seen completely matching outfits. In true Korean fashion, even after the busses arrived and started honking at them, it still took another 5 minutes for the cars to pull away and they caused a major traffic jam.

My friend Hannah picked me up at the bus stop and I crashed at her place, it didn't take very long for me to fall asleep but I woke up early. Thursday I went downtown (where I started writing this- it is now Tuesday afternoon) and hung out, then met some friends. Hannah got me some Birthday Tiramisu, another friend took me to lunch and gave me an incredibly sweet present, and Sarah and I had a nice birthday dinner, but besides that, it was pretty low key, I didn't really celebrate.

Friday Troy's girlfriend picked me up and took me to Troy's apartment, where I'll be staying until the other teachers at my school leave next week.

I've done a bit of walking around my dong (neighborhood), but it's pretty quiet- much slower paced and more family oriented than my old dong. I think there's a small mountain right up the street, which I plan on hiking one morning this week, and there's a walking park down the block. And although I'm way on the outskirts of town, I'm only 5 minutes from the subway- last year it was about a 20 minute walk.

My school is 180 degrees different than my old school, which is exactly what I wanted. Although I'll be teaching about 8 hours more a week, my actual time at school is a lot less than it was (I can leave when my classes are finished, used to be there were days I was finished at 6:30 but still had to wait at school till 9), the classes are much smaller (3-8 kids instead of 10-15), and just a lot less intense. Unfortunately, since Troy and I are the only foreign teachers here, I won't get much vacation time, but my old school didn't give me the vacation time they promised anyway. There's still a lot of typical hagwon BS to deal with, but anything is better than what I dealt with last year.

I had an interesting experience with a jerkwad Korean man. After a brief "conversation" with him on the street, I hailed a taxi and as I climbed into the backseat, the man shoved me over and climbed in with me. I was a bit taken aback, and in this moment of shock, the man shut the door and told the driver to head out. I suddenly realized that this guy thought I was a prostitute- I should have realized this sooner, as the man wore a huge shit-eating grin while we were talking, but Koreans love talking to foreigners so it's difficult to tell if it's an "I'm so happy to be talking to you so that I can practice my English" smile or if it's an "I'm so happy because I'm going to have sex with a big white woman" smile. I tried to be polite and started explaining that I was not a prostitute, and finally started yelling at him to get the hell out of the taxi. The driver finally figured out what was going on and pulled over and the man apologized, handed me a baby pinecone, and left the taxi. The driver told me he was drunk- it was, after all, 11:45 in the morning.

I'm not sure how I feel about being here. I'm so relieved to have a home again (well, almost) and a job and to not be a burden on anyone. However, I'm grieving for the friends I left behind. So far, I've not done much- I stayed home Friday and Saturday night and went to bed early (I've been falling asleep at 7 or 8 and waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning. Whee!) I guess I'm just not fully adjusted yet. And I wish for so many things, but like they say, you can wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first.

And More....

2007-09-16T15:35:00.001-07:00

"Depth of friendship does not depend on length of acquaintance." Rabindranath Tagore

I Am Blessed

2007-09-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

When I decided to spend another year in Korea, my main motivation was that I love my job there. I admit the money is nice, but I'm not one to stick it out at a job I hate, no matter how good the money is. Additional incentive stemmed from the fact that most of the year was an incredibly unhappy time for me- I was still reeling from the death of my father, and having my heart shattered not long I arrived in Korea didn't help matters. Certainly there were fun times and bright spots, but I spent the majority of my time in a rather dismal place. (And that, quite possibly, might be the understatement of the year, my friends.)

So, I wanted to do it again with no baggage. I wanted to just experience it for what it is, and enjoy the opportunity and the moments without a dark cloud hanging over my head.

And yet, as so many other times, things have not turned out the way I planned. Instead of busting at the seams to return, instead of a few weeks of restlessness and boredeom, I've experienced what has quite possibly been the best summer of my life. Leaving now is, almost literally, breaking my heart.

It's almost too painful, and too personal, to write about. I feel as though even trying to put it into words belittles it. I can't explain how much I dread saying good-bye to what could very well be the best thing that ever happened to me, knowing very well that I may be making the biggest mistake of my life. I hate leaving my friends, knowing that I won't be here to help them through rough times and celebrate in good. My friends are my family, and provide me with a sense of belonging that has been permanently absent from my life.

I am, for the first time in my adult life, not listening to my gut. Every bone in my body is screaming at me to stay.

But I will still leave.

And yet, as I stumble under the weight of a heavy heart, there is this.....

I have got to be one the luckiest girls on the planet. I have an incredible life here. I have old friends and new friends who accept me just as I am, no questions asked. My friends smile when they see me and will miss me when I am gone. They laugh both with me and at me, and they invite me into their lives.

Really, what more can a girl ask for?

And incredibly, I have been given the same thing- a wonderful life filled with amazing people- in Korea.

So although it hurts me to say good-bye, I leave knowing that my friendships are strong, and although they might take a different form while I'm gone, this is only the beginning.

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anaïs Nin

**copied on MS

Numb

2007-09-10T19:41:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving in 9 days. Writing about what I'm leaving behind is too painful and to even try to put it into words seems like making light of something that is leaving my heart raw.

I have to go. But I feel like I'm making the biggest mistake of my life.

“Where's the good in goodbye?”

Roller Coaster

2007-08-14T17:57:00.000-07:00

Every day, I think about posting, but my thoughts are so scrambled that I can't organize them into coherence. Conversely, I've been trying to not think so hard about things and just enjoy the ride. As a result, my brain is an endless cycle of white space followed by an attempt to burst out of my skull, over and over again.

Aaaahhhh.....I've tried to write the next paragraph three times. It's all cuckoo's nest and BS.

Blue

2007-08-07T13:49:00.000-07:00

I am more aware of my single status than I've ever been before. I'm surrounded by couples and families and it seems that every week, another (younger) cousin is getting married or having a baby, or is at least in a serious relationship headed that direction.

I can justify being single all I want- I can travel, I can do whateverI want without having to answer to anyone, I can go to the bars and make out with anyone I choose and then walk away without looking back. What I love most about being single is the solidarity it gives me with my friends- I am much closer to them when I don't have a guy in my life. However, the bitter truth may very well be that there is something fundamentally un-marriable about me, some major flaw that is invisible and absolute at the same time.

For the first time in my life, I'm seeing a guy who has a kid- something I would have previously avoided at any cost- and it has turned my life upside down. Watching him with his kid is almost torture, as it evokes a fierce battle inside me. All the benefits of being single are paltry compared to being a part of a family unit- waking up every morning next to the one you love, eating breakfast with your kids, watching them experience new things for the first time..... I see people take that for granted and I just want to shake them and make them understand how lucky they are.

Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted. Paul Pearshall

club bubi bubi

2007-07-26T12:06:00.001-07:00

I go dancing here sometimes. I usually get up on a platform and then K-girls push their boyfriends at me to make them dance with me. There is also a whole wall covered with mirrors, and K-girls line up in front of them and stare at themselves while they are dancing.

There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good. Edwin Denby

Idioteque - by the Cock Blockers

2007-07-26T11:53:00.001-07:00

This is my favorite band in Korea, and some of my favorite guys. I've spent many a debaucherous night with them.

Danny- the drummer. He's from O'Fallon, MO and is engaged to one of my best K-girlfriends.

Curtis- vocals and jimbae. He's awesome, brought me Peanut Butter Cups the last time he went to America. His girlfriend did a belly dance at their last show. It was hot.

Chicago Dan- guitar. He moved to Busan but comes back for reunion shows. I miss him.

Paul- Bass. Nuff Said

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. Berthold Auerbach

My Girls

2007-07-25T21:07:00.001-07:00

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. Aristotle

Bow Down

2007-07-25T20:54:00.000-07:00

In a hotel in Seoul...

Bow down before the one you serve. You're going to get what you deserve. Trent Reznor

Hannah's Horny Skin

2007-07-25T15:12:00.000-07:00

My favorite Korean beauty product is Skin Food. They sell skin care and cosmetics made from the extracts of natural foods. Some of my favorites are the Lime Body Exfoliant, the Black Sugar Facial Scrub, Beer Shampoo, and Milk Hand Cream.

Hannah purchased some Grape Seed Oil Body Wash. The label says:

Body shower gel that contains jojoba (??) beans to control rough horny substances and nutrient rich grape seed oil to improve the smoothness of the skin.

Apparently in Korea, skin is considered a horny substance. Ha!!!!!

The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases, one of its diseases is called man. Friedrich Nietzche

Baseball Game

2007-07-25T14:37:00.000-07:00

Tremendous took me to my first Korean baseball game a few months ago. It's only 6,000 won and there are no seat assignments. (Compared to a 7,000 won movie where you first have to get a line ticket to purchase the actual movie ticket, and then are assigned a seat in the theater!)
Our home team is the Daejeon Eagles. (Eag-ers! Eag-ers! Eag-ers!)

They had karaoke outside of the stadium,

and these teeny weeny kids were singing.

It was very cute.

Tremendous. What more can I say.

He's a rock star- a little girl kept running up to look at him

and then brought him an orange.

Look closely at this next picture. First, observe the gentleman wearing a sun visor made out of a box that is advertisting Hite beer. Very creative. Please also notice the man in the left corner reaching his arm out. The white item in his hand is ice cream. The ice cream is in some sort of plastic container thingy and you suck the ice cream out of a little hole in the top. It's hilarious to watch people eat these....and a little disturbing. The first time I saw someone eating a chocolate one, I swear for a brief second I thought they were eating poo.

A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz. Humphrey Bogart

A new blog for a new year....

2007-07-22T13:11:00.000-07:00

I have discontinued my blog from last year. Although there were moments of good cheer and considerable growth, it was the worst year of my life. I approach this year with a clean slate, and embark on the adventure with a clarity that was notably absent last year.

If you'd like to visit my old blog, http://www.koreasmiles.blogspot.com/, please feel free to send me an e-mail or leave a comment and I will be happy to provide you with the password.

It's been a few months since my last post, so following is a brief wrap-up of my last few months in Korea.

I somehow managed to accrue an amazingly supportive group of friends. Besides the mates that I originally journeyed with, I have developed intensly loyal friendships with a small group of Canadian girls. With this fellowship- Troy, Tremendous, Danger, Hannah, Charlotte, and Sarah- I endured and even thrived in my last few months. It is because of them that I am able to undertake this challenge again.

Saying goodbye to my students was upsetting. I become agitated just remembering it, so I'll bypass this topic.

Troy was genial enough to recommend me for a job at his school, and after meeting with his manager and directors, I signed a contract for a position beginning September 1. I'm excited (and somewhat nervous) to be working with Troy, and slightly apprehensive about moving to the outskirts of town. However, the positive aspects outweigh any hesistation that I have. I'm looking forward to teaching again and am relieved to have many rookie mistakes behind me.

The last few days in Korea were challenging, to say the least. My school didn't pay me until right before the bank closed on the last day that I was in the country, I tried to get travelers checks from two branches and ended up frustrated and in tears at both (resulting in my carrying around thousands of dollars in cash for several weeks), I had to be out of my apartment the day before I left which was somewhat of a logistical problem..... luckily the guy I was (am?) dating is very patient and pretty much carried me along.

Entertainment wise, it was, of course, the good life. I won a 20,000 won bar tab at a karaoke contest (I'm unsure if this was due to good singing or just because I'm so freaking hot) and came in 3rd in a cocktail making contest. There were only 4 entries, and the losing entry had every type of alcohol that Curt could find in it, but still, I didn't lose. It was a proud moment. I saw Transformers and it was so beautiful, I actually teared up several times. I of course spent some time at the nori-bong and went dancing a few times with Tanysha. Not to be forgotten were several girls nights involving varying amounts of alcohol, food, and nudity.

I've said it before and I'll say it again- Korea is extreme. Experiences and places are either supremely awesome or wholly abominable. People will either give you the shirt off of their back or they will cackle with glee while they twist the knife in your back. My feelings echo this- I was ecstatic to be returning to people that I had missed and certain comforts of my native land. However, I was distressed to be leaving my friends and students, and to know that I was returning to a new neighborhood and a new school.

Even given the misery and anguish of the past year, I would do it again in a heartbeat. Well, I'd skip a few parts. But the lessons learned and the friendships created are invaluable and besides, I do love the soju. Mmmm, soju.

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. Henry David Thoreau